Therapists typically do not have photos of their families or loved ones framed in their office. The art on their walls is often abstract, not suggesting any strong likes or dislikes. Even the clothes therapists wear doesn’t reveal what they may have planned for after the session. I have always felt that therapists should be a neutral presence in the therapy room. Sometimes, we think of therapists as a blank screen, other times as a mirror. That is until recently…

With quarantine and social distancing, you and your partner are likely experiencing a lot of “togetherness”. Perhaps this has brought out the best in your relationship, but more likely you have suddenly noticed how loudly your partner chews their cereal in the morning. Most people are experiencing increased anxiety due to COVID-19 and if you are in a relationship, then you may be taking out this stress on your partner. While it is not always fair, it is easy to take out anger, stress, anxiety, or frustrations on the ones you love. Welcome to being in a relationship at the time of quarantine.

Instead of hearing about healthy relationships from the therapist in the family, I asked my husband, “B” his thoughts and feelings about relationships. And here he is what he had to say…

Infertility, or the inability to conceive after trying to do so, impacts individuals, couples, and families in many different ways. It increases stress and is associated with mental health concerns, particularly anxiety and depression. One of the scariest things about infertility is not knowing whether or not a pregnancy will be possible even with a variety of treatments available. Those trying to get pregnant may have increasingly invasive or long-term treatments. With each menstrual cycle, there is another opportunity for disappointment, anger, or despair.

This is a scary and uncertain time for many people. Social distancing and state-mandated shelter-in-place have changed our lives, at least temporarily. Because of coronavirus and social distancing, you may find yourself working from home for the first time. Perhaps you regularly work remotely but are now confined to your home with your kids. With schools canceled and limited childcare options, many parents find themselves in the same boat (sinking ship?) trying to balance work and parenting responsibilities, at the same time, in the same household. Seems nearly impossible, right?

I teamed up with Career Strategist and Leadership Coach, Emily Eliza Moyer to help working parents figure out how to create a productive work environment—even with kids around—and become better at time management and prioritization.

These are unprecedented and uncertain times. With uncertainty comes a feeling of losing control. It is often this lack of control that sparks anxiety or panic. Many people may be experiencing anxiety for the first time in their lives. As we continue to navigate these challenging times, we recognize that no one is exempt from what is occurring in the world right now—including therapists.

As with many good ideas, the name Nurture Therapy was conceived at brunch with friends. I was actually helping another friend brainstorm a name for her women-driven business and suggested Nurture. Nurture means to care for and encourage the growth or development of; to supply with nourishment. I liked that the name implied a feminine-strength and inherent caring of self and others. My friend politely declined the name suggestion and we decided that it would be a better fit for my future practice, if and when, I decided to start a group practice. And so the name was with me for almost a year before anything came of it.

There is an unfortunate misconception that self-care only counts when you are spending time or money to take care of yourself. Sure, spending the day at a spa or getting a mani/pedi are great ways to take care of yourself if you have the time and resources to do so. But if you do not have the luxury of time or additional income, it is easy to make excuses about why you can’t take care of yourself. Instead, it is more important to find realistic ways to take care of yourself everyday.

Here are six self-care tips that you can practice everyday (that doesn’t include a pedicure). 

Sara was in her late 30’s when she became pregnant and she and her husband were ecstatic. However, her pregnancy included both physical and mental health concerns that increased with each trimester. Her physical discomfort included pain in her hips, difficulty walking and sleepless nights. She became increasingly paranoid and started to think of her baby as “an alien” growing inside of her. After giving birth her paranoia and delusions increased. Sara saw no less than five medical professionals, none of who were able or willing to properly diagnose or refer her for treatment. Sara had developed postpartum psychosis. Luckily, peripartum psychosis is rare, only impacting 0.1%-0.2% of women. What is not rare is Sara’s experience finding appropriate mental health treatment. Many women suffering from perinatal mood disorders don’t seek professional help. Treatment for perinatal mood disorders can significantly decrease stress and reduce symptomology. So why aren’t women in treatment? 

Meet Mighty Mama Sammi Verhey and her 1-year-old daughter, Winnie. Sammi balances the adventures of parenting with a combination of humor, love and respect. Sammi discusses both the joyful and challenging moments that accompany parenting. “Sense of humor is so important for my sanity… so much of parenting is beyond your immediate control that laughing through the low points when you’re covered in spit up, or deliriously tired, or stretched too thin reminds you that the tough moments are fleeting.” Sammi is a role model for new moms out there as she remembers what bonding was like with a new infant, “It was a slow progression until we got to know each other. And once we did, it was incredible and so meaningful.” Sammi also talks about how she fosters her daughter’s independence (while supervised, of course), contagious energy and imagination! Read more on the blog about Sammi’s adventures in parenting with daughter, Winnie.

It is difficult to convince a postpartum woman to go to therapy. Whether or not she is depressed, a new mom is exhausted, overwhelmed and preoccupied with her new baby. Understandably, early motherhood is not the best time to introduce a therapeutic-relationship or impose a healing process that is time-intensive and costly. However, if her symptoms become worse after the baby is born, if she is experiencing intrusive or distorted thoughts, or if she is suffering enough, then she needs help and there may be no choice, but to get help right away. But how do you encourage her to engage in therapy?

When Beth imagined motherhood, she pictured her and her husband John, lying in their bed on a Saturday morning. She imagined their little baby perfectly content lying between them. Beth and John would lovingly look at each other, and think how lucky they were to have this beautiful baby and perfect family.

What Beth did not imagine is being up at 3:00 AM with a colicky, screaming baby, feeling alone, depressed, and resentful as her husband is sound asleep in the next room. Beth is filled with feelings of guilt and worthlessness as she thinks to herself: ‘this is not the life I pictured. I must be a terrible mother. My family would be better off without me.’

You have read What to Expect When You’re Expecting, you have tracked the size of your baby (by fruit) week-after-week, your registry has been reviewed and approved by all of your mom-friends, parenthood—you’ve got this!

The expectations and reality of having a newborn baby are often very different. If you or your partner is suffering from depression or anxiety after the birth of a baby, the postpartum period can have a devastating impact on your marriage and family. Even in the best of circumstances, with substantial support and resources, having a baby can be a challenge, an adjustment, and a strain on your relationship.

Jamie Kreiter is a Chicago-based therapist who treats clients with postpartum depression and anxiety issues around fertility, pregnancy and parenthood. She is partnered with Better and recommends our services to her clients and we wanted to learn more about her practice and how she uses Better to give her clients more access to treatment.

Chelsea Sahai is an immigration attorney for a non-profit serving low-income New Yorkers. She is also mom to toddler, Niam. Chelsea talks about balancing work and motherhood, “Balance is really important to me, and something you have to look at in the big picture… Sometimes, a pay cut is worth the freedom from guilt for not being in the office 12-hours a day.” She shares the importance of setting boundaries, asking for help and engaging her young son in her work. Chelsea shares advice about how she conquers motherhood with a toddler, “I try to focus on our relationship to one another, celebrating him as an individual, giving him space to (safely) explore, and nurturing his own identity.” Read more of Chelsea’s powerful story!

Most mothers caring for infants have more things to do than hours in a day. Mothers spend almost all of their time and energy taking care of their new baby, leaving little time for chores and other things like washing clothes, grocery shopping, preparing meals, entertaining visitors, writing thank you notes, packing lunches, cleaning the house. 

In the best of circumstances, with support and resources, having a new baby can be a challenge and an adjustment. In circumstances where a mother is experiencing depression or anxiety after childbirth, having a baby can range from a significant stressor to a crisis. There is no right or wrong way to transition into motherhood, but there is always a transition. Try to let go of perfectionist tendencies and know that you are doing the best you can, and that is just fine! Here are 9 things you can try to make your life easier.

Having a baby is an overwhelming, emotional experience. The realization that this tiny and fragile being is completely dependent on you—paired with the physical exhaustion and recovery of delivery, rapid hormonal changes, and sleep deprivation—can be a challenge for any new mother. In recognition of these challenges, many cultures have adapted traditions and rituals for a mother to rest and recuperate and focus solely on bonding with her new baby.

In our culture, we perpetuate the notion that women should experience a smooth and euphoric transition into motherhood. However, practices in the United States do very little to promote this. Hospital stays usually vary from 2-3 days. New mothers are not encouraged to rest or take a hiatus from household responsibilities. In fact, most are expected to resume normal activities as soon as possible, neglecting the seriousness of a woman’s physical and emotional condition after birth. A new baby brings a lot of excitement and happiness to a home, but can also bring a lot of exhaustion. How can we better take care of our mothers?

Stacey Porter is this Monday’s #MightyMama. She is the Ambassador Program Lead and Training Manager for 2020 Mom, a national non-profit organization that seeks to close gaps in maternal mental health care. Stacey’s strength is to provide compassion and empathy that is sometimes missing from our society. Stacey inspires others in both her professional and personal life. Stacey experienced the loss of her 25-week-old daughter, Delilah. Talking to other mothers who had experienced trauma and loss helped Stacey to heal and find strength. Stacey tries not to hold herself to the impossible perfect standards that the media sets up for mothers, which helps her keep the balance. She has two happy and healthy children, which also keep her going. Stacey’s message to other moms is to feel free to be themselves, to laugh at #epicfails, to stop striving for perfection and to give yourself a little break sometimes. For moms who are suffering from a loss of any kind, whether it’s the loss of a child or the loss of yourself, Stacey reminds you that there is a way back.

Keep reading for Stacey's full interview. 

Beth is a new mom, and she is exhausted. She hasn’t showered in several days. And even though it is well into the morning, Beth hasn’t brushed her teeth yet. Between breastfeeding on a tight schedule—as prescribed by her pediatrician—and worrying about her daughter gaining weight, Beth has had no time for herself. But today, her daughter is one-month-old!

Did you know that 79% of us struggle with stress? It's undeniable, learning how to manage stress is a crucial skill in today's world.

In this guide, you'll learn everything you need to know about stress management.

Mothers can feel guilty about all kinds of things—things within their control and things outside of their control. Guilt can be a common symptom of the postpartum period. Mothers often strive to meet unrealistic expectations of parenting. When they don’t reach these unattainable goals, intense feelings of guilt arise. In this post, I will explore some of the reasons why mothers feel guilty, specifically when returning to work.